Wow has my life changed. Just a little over two years ago my husband and I were blessed with the birth of our daughter. Although I thought we were prepared, we were not prepared. Despite the classes (and we took every class), and the support from doctors, family, etc. there is a ton of things that no one can prepare you for. No one can prepare you for when you first see your baby girl and she looks just like your mother-in-law. I spent 40 weeks (she was born on her due date) dreaming about having a little “me.” I assumed, as I thought it would be so, that she would look just like me. My mother was on the band-wagon as well, bringing my first baby picture to the hospital so we could compare just how much she looks like her mother at only a few hours old. It was going to be so much fun to tell everyone on the phone how she has my nose and my eyes and my chin….not exactly. The doctor laid my perfectly beautiful newborn baby on my chest and the first thing I said to myself was, “What? She looks just like my mother-in-law!” No one can prepare you for that.
No one can prepare you for the exhaustion, both physical and mental, the fear, or the desire to roll that little baby right into the bathroom and shut the door. It’s true! She cried so much those first twelve hours that we both wanted to roll her right into that bathroom and just shut the door. Not for long, just for a minute while I sat in silence and remembered what it was like before she was born – before the shrill cries and before the constant breast feeding and before the lack of ability to recognize when your newborn needed a diaper change. I liked it better when I felt a sense of ability in my life – this new found “dumbness” was wearing thin! I felt this sense of “what just happened to my life?” I sit just me? I doubt it… Fortunately, that feeling did pass and by day two was ready to mother. Although I was still very tired.
As I entered motherhood, I’ve found tremendous love and laughter. So much has to be taken with a great big sense of humor. I would love nothing more than to share these experiences and insights and hope that this blog is of value to other moms! Because after all, I can’t be the only one…