So I was talking with my sister-in-law last week about a variety of things, mostly life and how we handle the things that come our way. We are similar in the way we are both very focused on the positive and both have a certain faith that things always work out. I know they will because, well, they always do. Life may not be exactly the way we plan it or want it, but if you stay focused on the positive, things do work out for the best.
Of course there are books to read and theories to follow if you want to become this way – positive, a believer, etc. I am one of the lucky one to have been raised this way. While at fifteen I wanted to shove my mother’s happiness and positive outlook down the drain, I realize today that she’s right. Of course there are days that we feel terrible, overwhelmed, and can’t possibly see the good in our surroundings. We are human. However, for the most part, I realize that thinking positive is the only way to go. That and the fact that I truly can’t control most of it anyway, so I might as well enjoy the ride while I’m here.
Somehow during our conversation I talked about motherhood and how so often I hear of mothers feeling like they have lost themselves in the role as mother. Turn on any talk show and you will find mothers who have let themselves go, lost their identity, and turned into a version of themselves they cannot recognize. I wondered out loud, “why hasn’t that happened to me?” Of course there are days that I complain to Brian that I need him to do more around the house. Like today for instance, “I work all week only to find myself spending all weekend working!” It happens, no doubt. But I began to give it real thought as to why I don’t feel “taken over” by my children and my role as their mother. Here is my best guess as to why…
- I am not afraid to make my children wait. A 4-month old baby boy that weighs 15lbs can wait five minutes for his bottle while I finish a satisfying phone conversation with my mother.
- Just because they are crying doesn’t mean they need my attention right this very second.
- I watch “What Not to Wear” and actually listen to what they say. I am far too old to wear a mini skirt but far too young to wear any pair of jeans that doesn’t make my butt look half-way decent.
- Mommys have to potty, too….
- I don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt going home from work before picking them up from school to give myself 30 minutes of quiet.
- I take my husband up on the offer to fool around in the car like we did when we were dating.
- I don’t feel the need to connect 150% of the time. While Pickle is in the tub it is okay to not be engaged in meaningful conversation the entire time. I take fifteen minutes while she plays to paint my toes.
- Sometimes I take fifteen minutes to just be quiet with my own thoughts. (Of course I have to drown out the Phineas and Ferb dialogue in the background)
I’m positive my kids will be fine even if I make them wait or if I take a time-out for myself. I believe that I’m a better mother because of it. I’m also positive that I love my children more than anyone could ever imagine…as all mothers do. Be positive and believe!