When Did I Become So…Practical?

Is it just me? No way. I know at this very moment there is a chorus of women asking themselves the same question, “When did this happen?” When did what happen you ask? Oh it could be anything….when did my shoes become so flat? When did I decide to stop coloring my hair? When did my fashion choices become so practical? When did I (gasp!) start wearing bikini underwear??

I like to think I’m on the cusp…I have yet to succomb fully to this idea of “Mom fashion.” I would never think of wearing “mom jeans” and I still color my hair. Albeit, I do it myself…I cannot justify the money or the time it takes to get it done in a salon. No way…that’s not me. Instead I do my own color and have it cut by the raging German woman at Fantastic Sam’s. She’s great….except for the force with which she thrusts my head down and tells me to ‘stay’, they way she slaps me with her towel, and the way she literally covers me in hair clippings and doesn’t bother to wipe them off. But I guess I shouldn’t expect more since my haircut (towel slapping included) is only $16 with tip and the entire experience only lasts about 18 minutes. Dollar for dollar I’m getting my money’s worth. At least my hair looks decent. I think, anyway. I don’t think I have “mom hair” which is where I would draw the line.

Okay so now for the undergarments. When did this happen? I used to wear tiny and cute thongs, had matching bras with bows and cherries on them…padded bras, plunging bras, t-shit bras, shall I go on? Today? Not so much. I look in my lingerie drawer and wonder when did Barbara Walters start shopping for me?

I have the basics. All I need to make it through the day without revealing anything that I don’t want people other than my husband to see. Basic bras in the three basic colors we all need: beige, black, and grey. Very practical bikini bottoms in very practical colors: white, black, nude, grey, blah, blah, blah to the nth degree.

I’ve started wearing a lot of cardigan sweaters. I know, it’s good to admit these things out in the open. What can I say? They are easy, go with anything and keep me warm when it is so damn icey in just about any public place around here. Why people think that just because it is summer you must keep buildings at a constant, comfy 61 degrees I will never know. But I digress…I can honestly say that my clothes have become, dare I say it? Easy. Practical. When did this happen?

Childbirth changes you. Parenting changes you. I know this. But I see other moms looking super cute, super hot even, and I can’t help but wonder how and why the practical spell has yet to take them over? I don’t want to become that mom who has obviously given up.

I’m certainly not going to go back to the salon to have someone else color my hair. Despite her force, I’ve grown to like, or fear, my German stylist. I just bought another cardigan so clearly I am not giving up those either. And I have to admit there is something very comfortable with a basic cotton bikini bottom, so, it’s unlikely there will be much change there. Besides, unless you are doing some serious workouts, which I am not, your butt changes after 35. So, I guess this is the new me. Practical.

In looking for the bright side, the only thing I can come up with is that I do spend less time at the salon and less time in my closet which leaves me more time with my family. Which is a good thing as long as I don’t get too practical to where they are ashamed to be seen with me in public. For that, I am counting on my family to give me the heads-up that I’ve officially gone too far.

Until then, practical rules! Besides, to me,  practicality has always been a very important quality. Smart, practical, and funny. Sounds like my husband….maybe that’s why we get along so well…

Happy Mothering,


2 thoughts on “When Did I Become So…Practical?”

  1. OK Melanie—this is so hilarious!!!!! I feel like this is Sex in the City meets being a mom!!! By the way you hair cut looks FABOULOUS!!!!!

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